|| The Modern Gentleman ||

|| The Modern Gentleman ||

Let’s paint a picture. You’re at the bar, you’ve had a drink or two, you’re hanging with some friends and you’re feeling pretty good. Maybe you just got your hair cut yesterday and you’re wearing your favorite outfit. Who cares, I don’t know your life. Clark cracks a joke and you toss your head back and laugh. Classic Clark, he’s a funny guy, but you kind of have to be with a name like Clark. Still smiling you look down the bar and suddenly, accidentally, make eye contact with the gorgeous girl you now pretend to just notice. She gives you a smile and you, since you’re feeling so good, do absolutely nothing. You turn back to your friends and pretend not to notice. Or maybe you even smile back and play a cool indifference. Either way you look back to her more than an appropriate amount of times during the night but never actually go up and talk to her. You tell yourself you are going to, but every time you do you feel this intense pressure in your chest, and for some reason your legs no longer seem to want to move. At the end of the night you go home, never having talked to the girl at all. Is it that big of a deal – no, but deep down you wish you had.

We’ve all been there, and any guy who says he hasn’t is lying. Everyone gets nervous during those situations, and it stems from a fear of rejection. Some people will say it’s a lack of confidence but really it’s just the other side of the same coin. Being confident allows you to conquer your fear of rejection and conquering your fear of rejection makes you a more confident person. They are one in the same. Regardless, it’s a feeling we are all familiar with, and the best way to over come this is to get rejected more.

Deep down we all know that it isn’t that big of a deal. Everyone at some point or another has asked a girl out and had her say no. Once you get shut down you have a second of damaged pride and then its over. You walk away and wonder why in the world you worried so much about it in the first place, because the truth of it is that the actual pain of rejection only lasts a moment and is nothing compared to the fear of it. So why do you still feel that pressure in your chest. Is it because you are a little bitch? Well, yes… but only if you don’t do anything about it. The nervousness is a natural feeling that comes when you are doing something outside your comfort zone, and by forcing yourself to go outside your comfort zone that feeling slowly goes away and it becomes easier and easier. 

That’s why you should try to make it a habit of getting rejected at least once a month. When you know you are going to get rejected the fear isn’t as intense. It’s like watching a horror movie and you know where all the jump scares are at. You know the answer will be no so it takes a little pressure off, and the fact that you know the outcome doesn’t matter. If you can integrate it into a regular part of your life that “no” longer has the same meaning. You wont feel that nervousness, that fear of failure, because you are used to it and it is no longer something outside of your comfort zone. It instead becomes humbling, exhilarating, and honestly a little addicting. It becomes just as painless as the rejection itself, and you will be surprised how much your life improves when you overcome it. Suddenly, you have this wealth of confidence to go for the things you want, and that is hands down one of the most attractive qualities a man can have. Everything becomes an opportunity, and the world will open up to you in ways you can’t even image. When you are able to approach a situation that most people shy away from with the air of someone who does it all the time. When you aren’t afraid to loose, you will be socked at how often you succeed. 

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